


Your not alone anymore

by Shameless_addicted



Category: Shameless (US), gallavich - Fandom
Genre: Alone, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Family, Homosexuality, Love, M/M, Multi, Sex, Shameless
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-10-24 04:03:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10733739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shameless_addicted/pseuds/Shameless_addicted
Summary: Ian is so use to having no one that it becomes almost impossible to let others in, now hes just alone and sad most the time. Theres only one person who's been there since the beginning and he thought that was all he needed, until Mickey.When Ian meets Mickey in the coffee shop he works at things change for the both of them.





	1. Its my number dumbass

**Author's Note:**

> Its a little short but thats because its the first chapter! The chapters will be longer starting on the second chapter.  
> Enjoy!

"You know you come back here almost everyday and the answer never changes" Ian smirked as he walked up to the table with the raven haired boy sitting at it.

"Can't I just come in to get coffee?" the boy laughed causing Ian to roll his eyes.

"Coffee isn't that good Mick" He told the boy before getting his note pad and pen out,

"Let me guess, Coffee and pancakes with a side of bacon, crispy" Ian added, looking down at the boy who nodded smiling.

"Aw isn't that sweet, he remembers my order. I think this is love" Mickey dramatically told Ian, bringing his hand to his heart.

"I don't love. Your order will be out soon" Ian replied dryly, running off to the kitchen.

 

"You should just give him a chance" Ian's best friend Liv old him walking back behind the counter, as he places the order on the ledge to the kitchen and grabbed a cup for the coffee.

"Liv, we have been over this. More than once might i add" Ian replied, kinda getting tired of the same old conversation he had been having with her.

"Ian, he seems like a good guy, who obviously likes you and you'd be lying your ass off if you told me you didn't like he was cute. Hes not like the rest and you should give it a try for once" Liv had told him, _again_.

"If I tell you ill think about it will you leave be alone?" Ian asked her, grabbing the sugar from the counter top and leaving to give the crushing boy his coffee.

 

This had been going on for two months now, at least two or three times a week Mickey would come in, order food and coffee that wasn't so amazing that he should keep coming back and flirt with Ian. A few weeks ago he had actually grew balls and asked him out and Ian replied "I don't date, Im sorry" and after that Mickey stopped coming, but only for a week and then he came back, like nothing had happened. Ian would be lying if he said that Mickey wasn't cute or sweet, or that sometimes his visits made his day but he wasn't going to allow another boy or person for that matter come in and hurt him again. He was so scared and so broken for dating, so as much as it made him even sadder to turn him away, Ian did. Every time. Although over time his fear was being set on the back burner, between his best friend/ roommate telling him to go for it and his own heart wanting to as well there wasn't much that wan't to stop him from saying yes anymore. But once again, he was scared and broken and didn't think anyone would want to or be able to deal with it all.

The only person Ian had in his life was Liv, but she had come way before the storm and was one of only who started durning it. She's the only one who ever showed she cared about him and she was the only one he needed. She was the sister and the best friend and everything else he needed and he was fine with that. Sure it would be nice to have someone relationship wise, someone to kiss and hold, someone to feel like he belonged with but it wouldn't last, and he knew that so what was the point?

Ian had been thinking about it, he had stayed up at night, thinking about this and his mind just went from one extreme to another. What if Mickey turned out to be the good guy? The one who stays, who actually wants all of Ian but what if this was all a game and he wanted Ian and a fuck and chuck? What if he just wanted him for a night or two? What if Ian got his heart broken again? Ian couldn't handle another person leaving.

"Whatcha thinking about so hard?" Liv asked walking back to the counter.

"If I should give him my number or not" Ian said honestly, looking into Livs eyes.

"Listen, whats the worst that can happen? You go on a crappy date and if you don't like him or don't think it would work then you end it and we eat ice cream"She said smiling at him.

"Really?" He asked, looking at her with hope in his eyes.

"Yes dumbass, now go" She laughed giving him Mickey's plate of food and pushing him off.

When he got to the table he placed the plate down on the table stopping for a second before deciding that he deserved to live a little,to forget fear even if forgetting didn't last long. He took out his note pad and his pen once again. Quickly writing down his number and placing it next to his fork.

"Whats this?" He asked confused.

"My number dumbass" He laughed before walking away and leaving the older boy in shock.


	2. A little hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You learn a little about Ians past and see the relationship him and Liv have! Plus Mickey asks Ian out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So happy you guys are loving it! Im enjoying writing it.

  
When you get hurt all your life and then you finally let someone in you have this hope, sometimes even this small feeling that they won't be like the rest. That they won't take whatever is left of your heart and break it even more than it once was and although your scared because you don't want to deal with the pain again; you allow them in, you pretend your fears aren't there and that anxiety in your stomach is gone because they might be worth it.  But they aren't worth it, and they hurt you so much more than anyone in your past, you gave them everything and they built you up, just to break you down.

Thats what happen to Ian. When he was 17 he found a boy, isn't that how it always goes? His name was Scott, he treated Ian like the sun and the moon at first, held Ian while he cried, listened to him when he spoke, loved him like no one ever had. Although that didn't last long, he started hurting Ian, not with a fist or a foot but with the words and the yelling, with the cheating and the lying, with the promise breaking and what felt like almost forced sexual relations. He made Ian feel smaller than he had ever felt, made him feel weak and not good enough. Ian bended over backwards from Scott did anything he ever asked, spent money on him, gave into anything Scott wanted, even gave up people for him but that wasn't enough.

It took Ian a while after they broke up to realize how much Scott had fucked his head up. Ian hated himself when he looked in the mirror, cried himself to sleep at night, shut everyone out, _again._ He had never felt so broken and now 3 years later and he still deals with the pain. He doesn't miss Scott, he doesn't miss the relationship and he would go even farther and say he had no feelings left but hate towards the boy. He was just left with the fucked up place Scott had left him in.

You never really 100% bounce back from that, because even if it happens once a month or once a year, that doubt they once place inside of your head will come back and it will hurt you.

It was hard to give Mickey his number, because he had that little piece of hope again. That maybe he was the one that wasn't as bad as the rest. Only this time he couldn't pretend as well as he use to, he couldn't push the anxiety and the fear away like he did with Scott, because when he met Scott his heart was broken, but now? Now its in pieces, everything is different this time.

 

When Ian got home that night from work he found himself smiling at his phone as texts from Mickey had appeared, until he read the last one,Then his heart stopped.

"LIV" Ian screamed causing her to run out.

"Stop drop and roll! where are you hurt?!" She panicked before she saw him sitting on the couch holding up his phone.

"I thought you were dying shit head" She laughed sitting down next to the red head on the couch, taking his phone.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tomorrow, I make amaizng chicken Alfredo" She read the text out loud.

"Ahh Ian! You have to go! Hes gonna cook for you" Liv gushed, handing the phone back to him and turning more to look at him.

"Liv what if Im not ready?" He asked, worry in his eyes. Liv knew it all, of course she did. She was the one who held Ian while he cried over Scott, the one who picked him up, told him he loved him and that he wasn't worthless like Scott made him feel, she helped build what she could back up, but there was things she couldn't fix, things that one day a man would have to fix. Liv had hope for the two, she had liked Mickey from the second time he had walked into the cafe and has been pulling for them since.

"Ian listen to me okay?" He nodded 

"Your heart is still fragile and its okay to be scared, after everything you've gone through your more than allowed to be scared. But this boy had been trying for two months. If he wanted to break your heart he would have given up a long time ago. Go on one date, see how you like it, how you feel and if its not what you want than thats okay too. But don't stop yourself and live your life wondering what if. We meet the right people in the weirdest times and I would hate for you to let the right person slip away because of some asshole" Liv told him, looking right into his eyes and him looking back.

"And you'll be here?" He asked, even after 7 years of friendship he feared losing her, the one person that mattered to him, the one person he needed. He couldn't imagine living without her.

"Right beside you" She smiled, taking his hand in hers.

Liv and Ian had a touchy relationship.  They hugged, cuddled on bad days, she would hold his hand when hes scared, all of that. But they had no feelings for each other, and they never would. Ian is gay and Liv is Bi but turns towards girls more than guys, both of them knowing that nothing but friendship would ever be between them made them comfortable. Ian had seen Liv naked once and Liv had seen Ian naked more than once, and nothing, they liked it that way.

Ian texted Mickey backing saying that he'd love too and Mickey texted back that he couldn't wait.

Liv and Ian had spent the rest of the night talking about relationships and Liv had told him about a girl she had met when she went to the book store last week and Ian had told her about this thoughts and feeling towards Mickey. Liv laying on her back and Ian laying with his head on her stomach on his bed, they stayed like that until 2 in the morning when Ian fell asleep. Feeling safe next to his best friend.


	3. The date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date that will make or break mickey and Ian.

 

To say both boys were nervous was an understatement. Mickey had asked Mandy 7 times if his sauce for the past was okay and every time she replied 'Its better than normal asshole. Calm down you'll be okay. About 11 blocks down and a few blocks right in Ian and Liv's apartment he had changed 5 times before going to Liv for help. A rule Ian learned along time ago is that Liv is always right, so ask her for help when you can't do it yourself. Best advice he could ever give himself.

Tonight was more than a date for both of them. For Mickey how tonights date went would make or break whatever he was trying to build with Ian, and he knew that. Mickey only knew somethings about Ian, only from what Ian and Liv had told him but he just knew that Ian wasn't a fan of dating and relationships. Why? he wasn't sure but he wanted nothing more than to change his mind.

 

It was 8 o'clock when Ian knocked on Mickey's door and was greeted with a smile. 

"Hey, come in" Mickey smiled, still a little nervous. Ian smiled back, handing him the bottle of wine he had brought, feeling bad if he came empty handed.

"The only wine I actually drink" Mickey said as he brought it into the kitchen to get two wine glasses. Ian looked around in his surroundings. The appartment was really nice, the there was three doors along one wall which he assumed were the bedrooms and the bathroom, those opened to the living room/dinning room and then a pretty big sized kitchen. Ian sat on the couch and waited for Mickey to come back, feeling a little more comfortable than he had when he walked in. Mickey came back and handed Ian a glass and sat down.

"So tell me more about yourself, I only really know how you like your bacon and that you don't give up" He laughed, so did Mickey.

"Well, Its just me and My sister Mandy.It has been for a long time really. I was a football player in highschool and when I graduated I took a business class and opened up a garage. I wasn't joking when I said this is the only wine I drink, Im more of a scotch kinda guy but Mandy brought this home from work one night and I liked it so" He laughed and Ian listened, to every word, not missing one.

"What about you gallagher?" Ian smiled when Mickey called him that, butterflies in his stomach instead of anxiety. 

"Well, I'm in the middle of taking a year off of school to make money and live a little. I haven't fully decided on what I want to be yet. I grew up in the south side Chicago but I moved out of there when I was 16 and its been me and Liv ever since. I was the kid in high school who enjoyed reading, not sports" He told Mickey who became shocked for many reasons. 

"I grew up in south side too actually, but when I was 7 I moved to live with my uncle." Mickey told the redhead, who knew if Mickey had never moved away and Ian had never left that this might not have been their first date.

"So you were a jock and I was a nerd" Ian joked making Mickey snort.

"I wasn't really a jock, I was good and I was on the team but I wasn't an asshole who was rude to everyone but the football team and who used guys and shit. I kept my head down and did my work and got a football scholarship" He told Ian, Ian nodded. He liked hearing that from Mickey, he liked knowing that he wasn't here with the same kind of people that bullied him all through school.

"How come?" Mickey raised his eyebrows, not really understanding what he was asking, Ian shook his head as he was taking a slip of wine.

"Why weren't you one of those guys?"

"Because I know what its like to be on the other side of that and I wouldn't make someone else feel so much less, like I did"  Just before Ian could speak the timer went off and Mickey ran into the kitchen leaving the redhead smiling like an idiot.

 

  
It was two hours later and they were both sitting on the floor, backs to the couch, more than half a bottle of wine gone and the conversation still going.

"So you almost joined the Military?" Mickey asked, eyes wide.

"Yep,  but Liv was smart enough and found me" He laughed.

"So tell me about her and you, she seems like a huge part of your life" Mickey asked, taking a sip of wine. _No one had ever asked about her before_.

"She is, When I was 16 things weren't good at home, I couldn't really function anymore and Liv got me out of there. Shes been the only one in my life since then, I mean we had been best friends since them but after that day she became so much more than that. It works well because I'm gay and she like girls more than guys and I think that's why we work so well ya know? We never have to worry about feelings or hurting one another that way" Ian told Mickey, he wasn't sure why he felt so open and free with the boy, but it was nice to feel that way.

"So who's Mandy? You mentioned her name earlier" Ian asked, wanting to show the same interest back.

"Well, she's my sister, best friend and all the family I have really. We have been through a lot of really tough family shit, she's my little sister and I'd protect her with my life" Mickey told him, sweetly. Ian didn't want to push and ask about his childhood, if hm and Mickey were to continue after tonight, which Ian was hoping it would, then maybe one day Mickey would tell him.

They just sat and talked really, about anything and everything. Getting to know each other in a way no one had other bothered to get to know Ian before.

"Well this has been amazing, but it's 12 and I know liv won't go to bed until I'm home" Ian laughed standing up, Mickey following behind him. Mickey grabbed Ian's leather jacket and gave it to him, being such a gentleman.

"Thank you, I really enjoyed this and your cooking was pretty okay" Ian smirked, Mickey walked closer to him, their chests almost touching, looking up at him as he was shorter; Ian looking down into his eyes.

"I enjoyed this as well" he smiled, standing up on his tippy toes a little to press a kiss on Ian's lips. Ian's arms went right to Mickey's back, they fit together so perfectly. Ian pulled away and walked to the door. Turning back around to meet Mickey with a smile before walking out the door. Smiling all the way to the cab waiting for him down stairs, smiling all the way to the elevator, smiling all the way to his apartment where he was met by Liv, with many questions.

 


	4. Closeness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey comes to Ians house this time, they grow closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How yall doing today?:) (looking for how you are in the comments)  
> Happy you guys are liking the book so much!  
> Find more of me on tumblr: shameless-addicted  
> :))

  
It was 10 am when Mickey walked into the cafe. It took 0.7 seconds for Ian to smile once he realized it was the amazing blue eyed boy from the night before.

"Miss me already?" Ian joked coming to his table getting his note pad out.

"Maybe, or maybe I just wanted to try the waffles" He laughed causing Ian to roll his eyes.

"Yeah right, Coffee pancakes and crispy Bacon coming right up" He laughs, about to walk away.

"Hey wait, Id also like a second date if thats available" He smirked causing Ian to blush a little.

"Deal but this time I get to plan it" Ian smiled again, he really liked what was going on here.

"Tomorrow? when you get off" Mickey asked hopefully, he really wanted to spend another night with the amazing redhead.

"See you at eight" Ian said taking the menu from Mickey and walking over to Liv.

"Hey Liv? I kinda need the apartment tomorrow night" He smiled and her eyes went wide.

"Already?" She laughed and he blushed, nodding a little with a small smile.

"Deal, I have a date anyways" She smiled before walking off. She looked back over to make sure Ian wasn't paying attention before walking over and sitting down at the table Mickey was occupying.

"You must be Liv, Ive heard a lot about you" Mickey smiled at her, but now wasn't a time to be friendly, it was a time to be serous.

"Listen, he's going on a second date with you and that means something. You break him I break your face do you understand? Because I will not watch another person break him and have to Pick him up off the floor again, It was heart breaking the first time. Im the one who made him feel okay about giving you a chance. Don't make me regret this Mickey. I mean it" Once she had finished her speech she stood up, not even allowing Mickey to speak for himself. She didn't need to hear promises or "I would never" Because thats what everyone says when they get the best friend talk. Most times the best friend talk was just talk, they never actually did break their face if they hurt their best friend but Liv was being serous, she would really punch Mickey out if Ian ended up on the floor again.  
  
  


All Ian could think for the last 24 hours is 8 o'clock, when Mickey would come over and they could spend time together again. Ian would be lying if he didn't miss Mickey, because he did, horribly. He missed the conversations and the feelings he had when Mickey smiled at him with that goofy smile he has. But all of this scared Ian, it scared Ian because he misses him and what if one day he's not there? What if he gets use to having Mickey around and he leaves? What will he do then?

"Ian? Hellooo" Liv said, waving her hands around In his face trying to snap him out of his thoughts.

"Hm? Sorry" Ian asked, looking a little embarrassed. He had been so deep in thought and worry he hadn't realized Liv had been trying to talk to him for the last twenty minutes.

"Stop overthinking okay?" She told him, she knew him so well that he didn't even need to explain what he was feeling

"Its 7:30 Im leaving soon. Don't forget that lover boy comes at 8" She said to Ian walking back in her room to get her bag. 

"Stop calling him lover boy" Ian groaned. "So this is the 3rd date, Am i gonna have to give the best friend speech?" He snorted causing her to gin, even after all of her many girlfriends she had been with he still asked the same thing every time.

"Not yet, but maybe soon" She blushed. Liv hasn't been serous about a girl in a few years. She had been with one girl for almost two years and it ended badly when the girl had to move away for work and Liv couldn't go, After that she just had kinda given up on relationships. She now mostly had fuck buddies and a few girlfriends but they never lasted.

"So its getting serous?" Ian asked her, wiggling his eyebrows at her, a huge eye roll was given to him for that.

"You are such a goof, but maybe. Im trying not to over think it. Like you should be doing Mr second date" She told him as she sat on their couch, putting her heels on one by one.

"I'm really trying liv, Its just hard. I like him and I like how he makes me feel but all the thoughts get to much sometimes, makes the thing worse sometimes you know?" 

"Have you told him yet?" She asked, Ian shook his head no. "When would i have mentioned that? Thanks for the amazing first date, by the way Im crazy and you should probably leave now" Ian added, rolling his eyes at her. She stood up, walking over to him. Now with heels she was just to his eye level, which was nice for a change instead of looking at his shoulders. She took his face in her hands, making his eyes look into hers.

"You aren't crazy, we have been over this and I don't want to here you say it again. You take meds that help you and thats okay and when its not we deal with it" She told him and he nodded, removing her hands and walking away to get her jacket.

"Now I gotta go, Have a good time and if your asleep before i get home Ill be jumping on your bed" She laughed before closing the door behind her.

 

Mickey had come right at 8:00, not a minute early or a minute late, Ian was impressed.Ian was excited for tonight, he had planned a movie night because it was easy and relaxing for the both of them and as it was Friday he thought that would be a perfect way to end a stressful week.

"So I was thinking pizza, beer and movies" Ian smiled as he walked out of the kitchen with two beers in his hand. Mickey ginned, that stupidly adorable grin that made Ian's heart flutter.

"Sounds perfect" Mickey told him, taking the beer from Ians hand and moving a little so he could see Ian better as they sat next to one another.

Ian had asked how the rest of Mickeys week went and he listened as Mickey complained about a ' stupid yellow shirt guy' and the ' old lady that didn't understand what we were talking about the whole time' and Ian knew that as much as Mickey wanted that old lady to piss him off it didn't because she was just old, he was sweet to her the whole time actually but that was a secret.

"Im gonna go order the Pizza" Ian told him getting up once again. to go get his phone to place the order. Mickey looked around the apartment he was in, he hadn't really had time to look around before as he was focused on sitting down and talking to Ian, he had missed Ian. More than he would like to admit.  He enjoyed the stupid conversations about everything and just the way Ian made him feel. He looked at the photos hanging on the wall, the ones of Ian and Liv, some from highs school, some from little kids, there was a few of just Ian, one from when he a little kid, one of his adult teeth had come in and it was him pulling his lips apart with his fingers to show you the tooth. ' _adorable_ ' Mickey smiled to himself.

"Whatcha lookin at?" Ian asked, coming from behind causing Mickey to jump. 

"You as a kid, you were kinda cute back then" Mickey snorted causing Ian to laugh as well. 

"What did you wanna be at that age?" Mickey asked him as the random question popped into his head. .

"One of those green military guys from toy story" He said honestly and Mickey just smiled.

"Is that how the whole military thing started?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. He loved knowing things about Ian, he was so interested, so happy to learn more. He wanted to know the little things and the big things. He wasn't sure why he felt this way so soon for Ian, hell he doesn't even know why he tried so hard for so long for Ian's number but he did and boy was he happy he waited.

 

"I really like this" Ian blurted out. They had just finished the first movie and some how Ian's head had found its way to mickeys shoulder and Mickeys arm was wrapped around Ian. Nothing had ever felt better to Mickey than the redhead. Ian looked up through his eyelashes, to see Mickey already looking down at him.

"I like this too" He confessed, moving his head close to Ian, until his lips were pressed up against Ians. Their lips moved in sync together, this kiss felt like so much more than just a kiss and it was even better than the their first one. Their first kiss was amazing but it was filled with anxiety and worry, but this was was filled with passion and lust. It was almost like it was filled with words both the boys didn't want to say yet. 

They sat there for a while, kissing and holding each other. Nothing felt better than their closeness.


	5. You weren't supposed to see me like this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things were going great between the two of them, until they weren't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, Im sorry I havent updated in more than a week, its been an extremely hard time for me.. but im trying my best. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Over the last month things were going great between Ian and Mickey.Although they hadn't made anything official yet, they spent time together at least 3 times a week, some dates and some just hanging around watching Netflix and cuddling or anything really. They just enjoyed spending time together, it didn't matter what they were doing. Mickey and Ian have had a few adult sleep overs, ending the night with sex that Liv has told Ian is "as loud as fucking animals", which only made Ian laugh because he knew that as soon as Mickey was gone she would want all the details. Sex with Mickey was something completely new for Ian, it wasn't forced, it was passionate and meant something more than just a fuck, he had never had that before. Everything was forced with Ians last boyfriend, if he didn't want to have sex then he was "Cheating on him" or he "Lost feelings for him" So after a while it was just easier to fake it than tell him that Ian wasn't in the mood.

Everything was going great with them, until one day it wasn't. They talked everyday, morning until night. Between breaks,lunches, on the bus home or in the car waiting for the red light to change. Every moment they got to reply to the other was taken for that, until a day had gone by and Mickey never got an answer from him, so he texted him again and never got an answer. Before Mickey knew it, it had been 3 days and nothing from his redhead. He couldn't sleep or eat or breath properly, he kept re-reading old texts trying to see what he said that would make Ian ignore him but every time he got to the end he still couldn't figure out what he had done, it was driving him crazy.

Finally on day five he "went home early" from having a "Stomach bug" and went right to the apartment Ian and Liv shared, probably going over the speed limit, not that he really cared at the moment. He was saddened by the idea that that he thought Ian was leaving him and angry at the fact that Ian wouldn't even tell him. He put his feelings on the line and that didn't happen to often, he wasn't just going to let Ian walk away.

 

When he walked up to the door of the apartment he banged on it, loud and more than once.

"Mick-" Liv started as she opened the door.

"No, where is he" Mickey asked pushing his way through the door and into the apartment.

"Yes In his room but-" he wouldn't let her finish, he just walked to his door and opened it to see Ian laying in bed, looking like he was hardly breathing. His face and eyes were red; like he had been crying. He only made eye contact with Mickey for a second before turning over.

"Ian look at me" he said, but Ian didn't, nor did he answer him. Mickey walked back out into the living room where Liv sat, shutting Ian's door behind him.

"What the fuck is wrong with him? Why is he laying in bed? It's 1:30 on a Wednesday" Mickey asked her, raising an eyebrow. He was beyond confused and worried at this point.

"Mickey take a seat, we need to talk" she said to me, this was the most serious he had ever seen Liv and that was enough to make him even more worried which he didn't even feel like that was possible. His heart was beating out of his chest, feeling panicked and anxious.  He sat on the edge of the couch, closest to the chair Liv was sitting in as possible.

"When you and Ian started dating he made me promise not to say anything, but you came here because you were worried which makes me think that you really aren't like the rest" she said, giving him a small smile. Liv had only given this talk once before, to Scott. So she worried that doing this again would end up leaving Ian in the same pain but she had so much hope that this wasn't like last time and judging by the worry and concern that was written on Mickey's face that wasn't on Scott's she felt more sure that it wasn't like last time.

"Tell me what?"Mickey asked, his heart beating fast, trying to prepare himself for whatever it was that was going on.

"Ian had bipolar disorder, it's extreme highs and even more extreme lows, most times for him it's horrible lows. Since he takes his meds the highs don't come as often. Right now he's in the middle of a major low, he doesn't eat or even get up to go pee, he just lays there. Sometimes crying sometimes not. There's nothing we can do until it starts to go away a little to recalibrate his meds and then in a few weeks or so he will be better again" Mickey wanted to cry, he felt horrible for ever thinking that Ian was going to leave him and felt even more horrible for not being able to help him. He felt useless.

"There's nothing we can do?"

"I've never been able to do anything for him. Maybe you could try but don't be disappointed if nothing works" she told him sadly. A part of her felt like she failed her best friend and she hated herself for it.

"Hey Liv?" Mickey asked before he stood up, needing to ask one more question.

"why didn't he want me to know?" Mickey added, sad ringing through his voice.

"The last person who he told left him and before that he was with Scott and that ended so horribly" Scott? Mickey thought. No one had ever mentioned a Scott to him.

"Judging by the look on your face you dont know about him. Ask Ian once he's better" she walked over to Mickey, giving him a small kiss on his cheek and sending him back off to Ian's room. When he opened the door ian looked at him, pleading eyes and sadness.

"I'm sorry I'm late" Mickey said as he stared taking his hoodie off and shoes off. He put them on the chair in Ian's room before sliding into bed with the boy who grabbed onto him right away. Mickey kissed his forehead and held onto him tightly.

"I'm not going anywhere ian, we will et through this" he whispered as he pressed his lips to Ian's ear, leaving a small, sweet kiss there. Ian nodded slightly, before closing his eyes and listening to Mickey's heart beat. Before both of them knew it they both fell asleep. Ian maybe sad but he wasn't alone, they would be sad together and Mickey made sure he knew that.


	6. Ill take care of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey takes care of Ian until he is okay again. Mandy tells Mickey about the new girls she been seeing. Liv tells the boys about the new girl shes been seeing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra long chapter for you guys!  
> Im sorry for the long pause between chapters, im trying really hard to bounce back but My mental health isn't the best right now.   
> I love you all!  
> Kudos and comments keep me motivated!  
> Find me on tumblr: shameless-addicted  
> -L

"So when am I going to  meet this mystery girl?" Ian asked as he sat on her bed while she applied her makeup. she had been going out with the same girl for over a month now and Ian still hand't met her, which either meant one of two things. It was just a hook up or it was much more than a hook up, if Ian knew his best friend( _which he did, very well_ ) he'd be guessing it was more than a hookup. The way she took extra time to get ready, the way she double checked to make sure her makeup looked up to standards, the way she asked Ian "Do I look okay?"- _Something she never did._ Liv was a beautiful girl who had struggled with many things but she was never really one to deal with being self-conscious. She worked out and worked hard for her body, if she found something she didn't like about herself she always tried and changed it. So when she was worrying how she looked you knew that meant she wanted to look more than good for someone.

"Soon I think, really soon" She said smiling at Ian through the mirror as she could see him when she went to give a last check on makeup.

"I just want you happy Liv, and if she makes you happy than Ill love her" Ian told her as he got up off her bed and gave her a small hug on her shoulders before she got up and got her bag that was once laying next to Ian. 

"Go get em tigger" Ian called out as she walked out her bedroom door.

"Be home around 11, love you" She smiled at him before grabbing her keys and leaving the apartment after Ian replied "Love you". That was always something they did when one of the left without the other, they had become so close, so much closer than a best friends, to Ian she would always be his number one, his family. 

Ian looked around the apartment, realizing he was alone- _for the first time in weeks_. It felt a kinda nice to be alone but he would much rather have Mickey with him. He sat on the couch, thinking about the weeks that had passed and how lucky he was to have Mickey and Liv. Things hadn't been the best, he hardly got out of bed, he went at least four days without eating or drinking but that never once did that stop Mickey from making him 3 meals a day and bringing him cool water every time his got warm. Ian thought about the time he had made a comment saying he needed a bath, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't find the angry to get up and that would mean he'd never be able to get out of it, but the idea of laying in warm water and relaxing his hurting in every way possible body sounded amazing to him and Mickey made it possible.

_"Do you want to lean on me? Use less energy?" Mickey asked him, his eyes were filled with sadness and worry and no matter what Mickey did it never seemed to be enough to pull him out of the horrible sadness Ian was in._  
  
"I just can't. Im sorry" He whispered, he hadn't gone back to actual talking, just small whispers here and there. His eyes were red from the crying and the blankets pulled up to his chin. He felt so sad, so hopeless, he was in so much emotional pain that it hurt him physically and he couldn't stand the feeling. He didn't want to be here anymore, he didn't want to feel this pain that was constantly inside him and though he told himself many times that in a week or so he wouldn't feel this pain he knew it was only a matter of time before it came back again, until he would be laying here again, numb and broken.

_"What if I can get you there and back without you moving?" Mickey asked, giving him a small smile, like maybe this could help him. Although Ian thought it was helpless because nothing had ever worked in the past, he still listened to Mickeys idea. Even with all this going on inside him he still tried to put mickeys feelings first, he tried his best to make him feel better about everything that was going on as Mickey was new at this and he was trying so hard for him. No one had ever put effort into him like this, not when he was like this. Mickey was doing everything he could and Ian could tell that it was hurting the boy to see him like this, so he gave a small fake smile sometimes when Mickey checked on him or took the smallest bite out of the sandwich Mickey had made for him because he had took the time to learn that Ians favourite sandwich was Ham and cheddar cheese and made him one every other day with the crusts cut off- just the way he liked them._

_Ian gave him a small nod, saying that he would listen to his idea, but Mickey didn't say anything he just smiled and walked out of the room, coming back a very few minutes later and picked Ian up without saying a word. Ian went with it, it felt nice to be in his arms again, even if it was only for a short while. Mickey brought him into the bathroom where he sat him down on the toliet and started to undress him, he was being soft and gentle, unlike anything you'd expect from him. When he was fully undressed he picked the red head up once again, placing him in the hot(but not burning hot) bath water, with bubbles of course because you can't be in a bathtub and not have bubbles(Mickeys logic). Mickey got a cloth from under the sink and dipped it in the water, bringing the wet cloth up to Ians shoulders and neck, helping him relax in anyway he can, They sat there for an hour, at one point Mickeys hand was intertwined with Ians and at others Mickey just sat next to him, talking about anything and everything he could think of, not even really looking for an answer from the boy in the bath._

He was broken away from his thoughts as he heard the front door, looking up to see Mickey with a bag of clean clothes and a pair of shoes, ever since Ian had that episode Mickey didn't sleep at home much, not that Ian at all minded, he liked sleeping next to Mickey. He liked waking up to him too. 

"Whatcha thinking about?" He asked, taking a seat next to him on the couch, lifting an arm up signaling for Ian to move closer, which he did happily.

"Just about the last few weeks, thank you for taking care of me. No one, no one besides Liv has ever cared enough to stay through it all. It means a lot to me" Ian told him, moving his head a little more on Mickeys shoulder so he could look up to Mickeys beautiful blue eyes.

"You don't need to thank me, thats what we do isn't it? Look after one another" Mickey told him, smiling at him.

"Hey Mick?" Ian asked, he had the question in the back of his mind for a few days now. What were they? Were they in a relationship? Were they a couple? Whatever this was it certainly wasn't just a fuck, they had never really talked about it and then Ian had an episode and Mickey stepped up in so many ways and now he needed to know what Mickey was thinking.

"Yeah?" 

"We area couple right?" Ian asked shyly.

"Listen, words aren't really my strong points. I don't do relationships often, and Ive never been this way with anyone else. Not like this. Its different but a good different" Mickey told him, fumbling over his words, leaving Ian more confused than he had been before this conversation took place. Mickey could tell that what he had said only made sense to him so he took a breath, looking into the eyes of the boy he was falling for.

"Course we are"

 

They sat like that for a few hours, watching episodes of family guy and waiting for Liv to get home. Over the last few weeks, with Ian's episode being so bad Liv and Mickey had gotten a lot closer, she had become a like a little sister to him. He had never been able to let people in, it was hard for him adn he always found himself putting walls up without trying to, but for some reason he had allowed two new people into his life and he couldn't be happier about it. Liv walked through the door, smile bigger than Ian had ever seen, taking up more of her face.

"Well look at you Mrs smiles" Ian told her, patting the coffee table. Basically telling her to get her ass over here and tell him everything. She sat down facing the two of them, the smile never fading, not even for a second.

"Well? tell me about her! I don't even know her name" 

"Well her name is Mandy, she's our age. She works at the bar I met her at-" Her smile still from ear to ear.

"Hold on a fucking second" Mickey interrupted,pulling out his phone and going to his photos and looking for the one photo him and his sister have together.

"Is this her?" He asked, showing her the photo. Her face dropped.

"Why do you have a picture with my girlfriend?" 

"Your the big date she had tonight"

"Come again?" Liv said, very confused at this point.

Mickey looked at Ian and waited for it to click, it look about a minute before an "Oh my god" came from his lips.

"You two wanna fill me in?" 

"Your dating Mickeys sister, We've gone from sharing a bed to sharing siblings best friend" He laughed as he stood up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink.

"She spent some of the night talking about her brother and how she felt lonely at home because he was always at his boyfriends. How many brothers boyfriends have a gay best friend" She laughed as she moved to the spot Ian was sitting in,

'"Would you guys mind if I invited her over? I miss her" She asked as Ian came back, taking a seat so she was in the middle of them.

"Why would we mind? Mickey is here all the time" Ian smiled at her, wrapping an arm around her. She got up and went to her room to change, giving Mandy a call.

"Hey Mands, Funny story.."


	7. Funny how the world works

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The four spend a lot of time together. We learn more about Mandy and Liv  
> Just a small cute filler before I start chapter 8, which should be out tomorrow or Monday!

"Honey Im home" Mandy yelled as she shut the door to Ian and Livs apartment,caring a large box filled with Chinese take out.

"Hey bitch face" Mickey smiled at her as she walked in, causing her to roll her eyes.

"Gee I almost thought i was lucky enough to not have you here when I came back" She laughed 

"Your the one whos fucking my boyfriends best friend dear sister" He fought back, of course there was no anger or upset in his voice. They acted like this all the time, its how Milkoviches showed love for one another and for Mickey and Mandy they loved it that way.

"Boyfriend huh? Haven't heard that word in a long time.." Mandy trailed off but Mickey shot her a look, a look that said ' _Please don't finish that sentence and bring it up again'_ so she didn't and it took Mickey a second to compose his thoughts again before he smiled.

"Yeah boyfriend. I really like him Mands" Normally Mickey wouldn't be caught dead talking like this, he was taught all his life that showing feelings, even love, was a sign of weakness and one thing Mickey Milkovich isn't is weak. At the start of there relationship Mickey had been over thinking, because it had felt to much like last time and he couldn't handle for that to happen again, he had even thought about pushing the red head away, to save him from anything that could happen in the future but no matter what he did he couldn't seem to stay away and then he thought Ian was ending it when his episode first started and that made him feel lost inside and he promised himself that it wouldn't be like last time because he would do anything to protect Ian, but leaving him wasn't something he could do.

"I feel the same way big brother. Its scary because no one has ever treated a Milkovich this way before, its almost like we deserve it" Mandy told him, giving him a weak smile. it broke Mickey's heart that Mandy didn't believe she deserved better than all the shit she had been put through. Mickey felt bad that over the years Mandy had seemed to be peoples punching bag or the girl that everyone abused, _emotionally or physically_. But he didn't have time, as both best friends came back from the kitchen with plates and forks for the food. Ian smiled as they all sat around the coffee table, grabbing the bowls of food they wanted and scooping some out onto their plates. It was 12 am on a Friday night( _Early Saturday morning if you want to be fucking specific)_ but none of them had ever felt more awake, they all fit perfectly, in this now four person group of theirs and they all seemed to like it. 

Ian couldn't believe that an hour ago it was just him and Mickey on the couch, Ian not even having met Mandy but after the advents that had taken place only 30 minutes ago everything had seemed to change.

- _30 minutes ago_ -

_"Wait, so we went on about your roommate relationship and my brother's relationship for a month and never put it together that they were dating" Mandy asked Liv as she stood in the living room that sat in the middle of the Liv and Ian's apartment. All three of them looked back at her nodding and laughing._

_"The world really is fucking small" She added, taking a seat on the chair that faced them._

_"So tell us how this happened, because the last time we talked about your relationship you had met a girl in a book store" Ian said, looking at Liv._

_"Well, the girl from the book store had asked me on another date at the courtyard-the bar/grill Mandy works at, and she had stood me up. I ended up waiting like an hour before she had texted me telling me she had got some horrible flu and then texted me saying ' tonight was fun, lets do it again' a very few seconds later she realized she sent it to me and not the other girl or boy she had hooked up with that night and then I went to the bar part of the courtyard to drink because thats what we do when we feel shitty about ourself and Mandy made me my drink and we ended up talking until closing. I gave her my number at the end of the night. 6 dates, talking 24/7 and some very steamy things later here we are" Liv said, giving Mandy a wink at the end causing her to break out in a blush. _

_"Who knew my sister was a carpet muncher, 2 out of 6 kids gay." Mickey snorted causing Mandy to laugh along side him before calling him an asshole for calling her a 'Carpet Muncher". Liv and Ian gave each other a weird look, not knowing that there was more than two Milkovich siblings, but neither of them bringing it up because both of them knew the other would ask their partners when they were alone, guessing that it was a hard subject to bring up if neither of them had said anything in the first place._

_They sat and talked for a few minutes before Ian had complained of hunger as he had only consumed pizza bagels the day before and after all of them had agreed they each put ten bucks on the table and tried to figure out what they all wanted._

_"Chinese?"  Ian asked after 6 or 7 ideas had been given out followed by a quick "no"_

_"Yes" They all said at the same time causing a laugh to fall out of their mouths._

_"Ill cook whoever goes to get it breakfast because I don't even feel like getting off the couch let alone leaving the apartment" Liv said giving Mandy a cheeky smile, hoping that someone would get off their ass. Mandy ended up being the only one who wasn't completely lazy and offered to go but that was only after she had sucked face with liv for a few minutes, not really wanting to leave her love behind. Not that she would say this out loud but she was scared that when she left Liv wouldn't be there to come back to her._

 

And now here they were, Mickey and Ian sitting on the couch while the two girls sat on the floor, eating and talking. There was no awkwardness or weirdness, just friends and loved ones sitting around with one another, eating with no sadness or worriment with them.

"Guys" Liv smiled as she got up and ran to her bed room.

"What is she doing?" Mandy asked, confused as all hell but Ian knew what she was going to bed. Liv came out a few minutes later with a stack of movies and the biggest grin on her face.

"Here we go" Ian mumbled to himself shoving a fork full of noodles in his mouth.

"Harry Potter Marathon" She said putting all 8 movies down on the food covered table.

-x-

When Liv and Ian got out of bed the next morning they walked in on the Milkovich siblings staring at each other, Mandy with sad eyes and Mickey with worry. Ian could feel it in the air, the two best friends were missing out on something that was going to change things, and it scared him.

"Guys.. Whats going on" Liv asked walking over to her girlfriend, placing a hand on her shoulder. Mandys eyes snapped from Mickey's to Livs for a short second before snapping back to her brothers. When Mickey looked into her eyes he could see it, he could see the begging, the pleading, asking him to make everything go away because she couldn't handle it once again, not after how bad it got the first time.

"Mick, will one of you guys tell us whats going o-" But Ian didn't get to finish his words as Mickey had gotten up and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

"Mandy what the fuck is going on" Liv asked taking a seat and looking her in the eyes.

"..

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theres a chance that Mickey and Mandys whole life will change if they doesn't get up and tell a room full of people about their life,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: mentions of rape, gay bashing and abuse.  
> Read at your own extent  
> I love you all

Mickey walked back into the apartment a few hours later, shaking and scared. No one had ever seen a Milkovich so distraught in their lives. There was so many thoughts running through his mind and all of them seemed to be going a million miles per hour. He knew what the right thing to do was but he had no idea if he could do it, and what would happen to him if he did? What would happen to Ian and Mandy if he didnt? Liv and Mandy snapped their heads up from the couch as Ian walked out of the bathroom, his face almost shocked to see his boyfriend back in the room. He had been worried the whole time Mickey was gone, scared that he would do something stupid and worried that something horrible would happen. Ian had never seen his black haired boy so angry, so lost, in the two months they had been together, it was this hold side to Mickey that Ian had never seen.

"Mick, please talk to us. We need to understand whats going on. Mandy can't even look at me when I ask her" Ian begged, walking over to him, placing his hands on Mickeys face. Their eyes only connected for a quick second before Mickey pulled away. Liv and Mandy sat up from their cuddled position the couch and Mandy just looked at him, giving him a nod that it was okay, that he could release and say everything in his mind, that it was safe here.

"This morning I got a call from the DA, our father has a hearing that could set him free unless Mandy and I testify against him, tell him about the horrible things he's done to us" Mickey whispered the end of the sentence. This wasn't a topic he ever talked about, not even with Mandy, because thats what he was taught, that it makes him weak. It made him weak because it hurt him, it broke him inside. The person who was supposed to love and protect him is the one he needed protecting from and it never failed to amaze him at how far his father went on him and Mandy. But was he really going to talk about it to strangers? Was he going to let them see a weak man? Did it even make him weak? Or did all of Terry's beating work.

"Then we do it, we stay safe" Mandy said.

"No, no fucking way. You think I want to sit there and listen to everything he did to you? You think I want to go up there and tell them all about the things he did to me? No!" Mickey shouted, Ian stood up from his seat and walked over to Mickey, leaving some space but hoping it would bring Mickey some calm.

"Guys, please explain to us whats going on. We don't understand and we can't help" Liv asked, more like begged. She had started putting pieces together, saddened by the thought of her lover being put through hell, she wanted nothing more than to hug her and make this all go away, but she knew that no hug could fix this.

"Mickey please, I can't have him free again and Neither can you"

"Fine, but Im doing this for you, not me" Mickey told his sister, half of that truth half of it not. He turned to look at Ian and Liv, giving them a sad smile before sitting down

"Our dad was horrible to us..

-x-

Its been a weak since they had all talked and today was the day, the day Mandy had been crying about, the day Mickey had been drinking about, the day Ian and Liv were left to try and fix the two loves of their lives.

"We now call Mandy Milkovich to the stand" The Da called.

'Now or never' Mandy thought to herself as she walked up. She was going to do anything and everything to protect her brother because she knew that if the monster had gotten out he'd go right to Mickey.

"When I was little and my dad use to come home drunk, my brother Mickey use to hide me under the bed with headphones on. I was only 3 and he was 5 but he did anything to make sure that he never touched me. But it gets harder to hide under the bed when you turn 13 and 14 and suddenly he keeps coming after you and theres no place to hide. I was 13 the first time it happen, he came home drunk, muttering something about mom and then he got in bed with me, I was too weak to get him off of me. He was angry and drunk and I was alone in the room, and there was no one that could have protected me from that. You have no idea what its like, to feel so wrong and hurt and scared by someone whos supposed to protect you from everything in life and love you, your supposed to be his little girl but to him I was a punching bag and a fuck if he really needed one. Theres no more words left to explain how horrible he made living, he made me weak, sad, violated, hurt,angry. He is a monster, and if he gets out we will go back to living in fear, wanting for the day he gets what he wants. Us dead" Mandy had kept her head down the whole time she talked, looking up at the very end, letting the tears fall down off her cheeks. She saw Liv crying on Ians shoulder, Mickey with sad eyes and an angry Terry looking like he could kill. This wasn't the worst because she knew in a matter of time Mickey would get up there and thats when the real tears would hit. She walked back over to her girlfriend, collapsing in her arms, unable to talk, or even think straight 

"We would now like to call Mikhailo Aleksandr  Milkovich to the stand" The Da called, all eyes landed on Mickey, Ian just gave his hand a small squeeze before letting his boyfriend stand up.

" _Just pretend your talking to Ian, its all going to be okay_ " Mickey kept telling himself as he walked, he started shaking, _he couldn't do this, but he had to, for Mandy._

"You learn two things growing up in the Milkovich house, Hit or be hit and Being a fag is anything but okay, it was sickening and wrong, but being an aids monkey would go away with a few pretty good beatings, right dad?So here I was at 6 learning both rules, hit or be hit, and what I am is wrong. When I was 6 I told my mom and my dad, that I wasn't like the other kids in my grade, they all talked about dating the opposite sex, you now how little kids do, but I didn't want that. I thought girls were gross, I liked boys. I couldn't move for a week because of what he did to me, I hardly ate, no one ever came to check on me and when I could finally walk again no one ever talked about it, they just assumed I liked girls, that he had fixed me, that the beating worked. When I was 16 I had the house alone, my dad and brothers were going on a drug run and that meant one thing, I got to be gay for the weekend and I had never felt so free, so happy than in that moment. I had invited my boyfriend over, for once I just wanted to act normal, like there was no hiding. Terry caught us kissing on the couch and when the boy tried to run Terry pulled a gun on him and beat us both until we were more than bleeding and then he called a hooker and she "fucked the gay" out of his aids monkey son. Isn't that how you put it dad? Terry Milkovich ruined my life, I still have wake up in fear sometimes. If you put him back on streets he will ruin the rest of my life and there won't be a day where I told look over my shoulder." Mickey finished, his eyes not leaving Ian's _\- now sobbing ones-_ he couldn't beleive what he had done to two extremely important people in his life. 

Mickey got up after that, walking quickly back to Ian, not letting the tears drip from his eyes until his face was buried in Ian's neck, but even then they hardly came out. He didn't want to be weak, he was a Milkovich and they weren't weak.


End file.
